Spanking Therapy - by Little Miss Sunshine

Dear Ms Mercury,

That I came to you is the most therapeutic thing I've done so far, and I've been running to a therapist for more than 14 years now. Beautiful and caring people, but nobody has seen me like you could. G (my psychologist) has seen me, but you went inside my core of experiences and feelings and changed something.

I haven't felt so many emotions since I was a child. G said that she was happy that I found what I need, and was happy for me finding you, it must be relieving. She thinks this is really good for me. She said, some years ago,  that we were a bit stuck with the therapy. G have been saying for a long time that I have a lot of shame inside me, but I didn't feel that.

But after getting spanked I felt it. And now I understand what she's been saying. And the feeling moves around in my body.. The shame feels a bit paralysing but also good, because I don't feel alone with it, and it feels like you have seen me.

I`m so grateful for you taking care of me, like a child, that's how it feels. You are safe and strong, and in control. And I feel a deep respect for you.

You understood, and knew what to do. Everything that happened felt natural and safe. You have a strong healing power.

I also feel like I'm about to lose control in one way.. It's many feelings inside me and it's like I'm about to cry.. But I still don`t.. My wife hopes that I can get more in contact with my feelings and not hide away like I always do. But that is still out of my control.. I really want to cry, and I want to come back to you and manage to cry.. Maybe then I can cry like expected..

Today I'm a bit more nervous again, and it's difficult to eat.. I felt more calm the day you spanked me and held me, and the day after.. All in all, I´m still feeling more whole than ever, but at the same time in resolution..?

I also feel more compassionate to people and people are compassionate to me as well.

I think it's comforting to try to feel when I am at 7 [out of 10, for intensity], and know that if something is difficult I can say the safeword.

Maybe I can protect myself better and be safer in the future, using those tools. I realise that that's one of the most important things to manage as a human, and you showed me, so maybe I can start to use it out in the world. But that is difficult, and will be for a while still.. I`m not used to it, to set boundaries.

I have always been my own boss, and few people can tell me what to do in long term, in fact nobody when it comes to the end.. but it felt good when you told me what to do, it felt like you held me tight, and that felt safe. And I want to be obedient to you. You have this power that no one else got.  Maybe you can reach in and stay there, when I´m out on my own. So I make better decisions when I am emotionally activated.

After getting spanked I`m not so afraid of my co-workers that express a more strict attitude. I now see that it can be with love as well. They`re not spanking of course, but some adults can be a bit dominant and then I`m getting stressed out and sometimes angry when adults are being strict. 

And then again I want you to be strict with me and take control...or I think I would like it. (I know I shouldn't have that need. I need to take that responsibility myself.)

Maybe because I have always been going my own way I'm tired of it.  Then it feels good to be able to play with you; be dominated, if that`s play, or is it real?

I felt ready to be punished for what I did, but was nervous. I couldn`t be sure that you would take care of me or spank me to death

During the session, my thoughts were: you are the one I`ve been looking for my whole life. A safe adult, that saves me from danger.

My favourite moment: when you said that if someone had spanked me before and went too far or it was too painful, now I´m in control to stop it, because I am learning about my boundaries. Then I felt like you took control and comforted me. And then I felt like if you want you could spank me as hard as you like, because I didn’t feel alone.

The session couldn't be better.. I`ve finally got spanked

Thank you so much for taking care of me like no one else have been able to

Hugs, 

Little Miss Sunshine